Married 30 Days and Counting.

Okay so I have just done 30 days and it feels like an eternity. At the time the 30 days felt like the one month completion of alcohol anonymous but I did not get the completion certificate at the end. I can’t believe it me the original get down with your bad self has another half that I am claiming out in the open and he is calming me. I mean in a matter of months we went from keeping this on the down low to full out married. Instead of the certificate upon completion of 30 days I got something called the Pharlo factor. Pharlo is a breathing living memorial to hip hop and rap. Now I never explained my Ex’s appearance he is nice looking clean cut and dresses like an adult usually during the hours of 12 to 7 pm and in the evening and on weekend he is ride or die hip hop. Basically he is the exact opposite of the Pharlo factor. Pharlo is straight out of England and not your typical Londoner. He wears corn rows jerseys and pants that are three times bigger than his size. He has a big personality no let me say gigantic personality. He is loud and never discreet and always looking out for numero uno. Well 30 days in I got him and he became my honeymoon present. He was the present that did not keep on giving. Matter a fact he gave nothing but always took and over stayed his welcome because it was free. Now when a normal person comes to visit you they stay 5 days tops 1 week not 45 days and counting. We had a 1 bedroom apartment in the city off of 7th avenue. I know it sounds spectacular but in fact it was not. The space was tight and less than 650 square feet and now we had three adults living there. I was losing my mind! In the beginning of our relationship just like anybody I would wait for my ex to go out so I could take a shit and now having this squatter on the premises was really messing up my me time. I mean newlyweds don’t usually walk around the house fully clothed. Around day 20 I began asking my ex what the hell is going on here. We are newlyweds hence the words newly wed and you have me living in a fraternity, WTF? So I asked him when is this cat leaving? His response was he did not know. This answer puzzled me, how could he not know. It was his house the Pharlo factor was a guest and he did not have his departure date marked off on the calendar. This pissed me off, total “BITCHASSNESS” in the making. I went off and all of my ranting and raving went on deaf ears. My ex loved the fact that he had this live in friend with industry party connections with networking possibility and to scope some new ass. Please like I don’t know. It is unfortunate when we lie to ourselves and say that our other half is 100% true to us and it is unfair to be upset with your other half if they look and flirt a lil bit. The reason I say this craziness is because it is a bit unfair to expect someone to not look at something they want. It is all natural. I think forming relationships with individuals that you are not committed to is dangerous. Forming relationships means that no relationship is safe and there is always that possibility that the person you have committed yourself to is not really committing themselves to you.
I grew up in a house on a small tree lined block and moving to the city was a big shock for me. I hated the numerous amounts of cabs and busses, smog out the wazoo. Central Park was near but the thought of having to walk from house to the park and actually run in the park the thought was near excruciating and hey lets face it I love me so I passed. I can honestly say that I ran in central park one time and oh boy I am not a runner. I envy runners; there breathing always seems to be on point. They seem to breathing cleaner air than me and I am jealous. Back to the Pharlo factor he would always ask to eat last and say that he was a human garbage disposal because he could eat any and everything. Usually when my family comes from out of town to stay with me they always bring gifts and invite me out to eat to thank me for my hospitality, not Pharlo. It got so bad with the food I had to say to him if you are going to be staying here this long you need to contribute to the house. Can you believe I had to tell this grown man that was probably sitting on millions that this was not the move. Fo F’s sake, I was contributing to the home on my student loans and unemployment checks. Let me add that Pharlo did not work other than volunteering on a radio show which was very beneficial to his music industry career aspirations and he lives off a big settlement from a car accident. His settlement is paid in Pounds / Euros so imagine he comes to New York three times a year and stays about 2 months and buys very expensive trinkets while he is here. This equates some nice cheese. What a free loader ate everything in site was always there would stiff the Chinese delivery guy on the tip and buy the large size Snapple strawberry kiwi for himself. He never even bought us a house warming gift. Two days ago Pharlo sent me an instant message and asked me if I was happy. I thought this was an odd question so flipped him the bird in cyber space and closed the box. One day I got so fucking mad I drank his damn snapple kiwi strawberry juice and told him it was my fridge, pounded on my chest and walked away and what! If you find this to be your current situation threaten to pack your stuff and leave. If there are no results that are in your favor then leave. You are newly/wed, no worries you can always come back I really and truly doubt the chain will be on the door, lol.