Democratic Convention hip hip hooray!

Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy Obama /Biden ticket I am so excited it reminds when I was a child and I got my first Nintendo I was happier than a pig in shit. Or how about when I got my first cabbage patch doll oh my goodness that was really exciting. My mom assimilated a labor scenario and I gave birth to a big box that had an original cabbage patch doll of some nationality. My doll was more of an olive color doll she looked mixed like mulatto. My mom made a big deal about my dolls growing up she did not believe that I should own only Caucasian dolls but dolls that looked more like me. I know you are thinking to yourself that the assimilation thing was weird and it was but if you know my mom she is a carefree spirit and strongly believes in saying what she means without censorship. At times this can be dangerous but all in all it is a good thing, she is just not like everybody else. Let me not forget her heart is pure and real and her emotions always reflect that and I love her for that and many more things. SHES A GOOD WOMAN! Back to my excitement about Obama /Biden If I could cartwheel I would but I can’t so for now I will keep all my acrobatic skills in my head and dreams. The country has been in such a bad state and getting worst and GWB the Bush is looking for his retirement mansion. I am so sick how anyone could allow the person who fixed the election in the first place to allow this to happen. Since when has our dollar been weaker to Europe’s euro? My cousin Alex was here visiting with me this summer for the first time ever in New York and was excited that she was able tos spend so much money. It was inside that I died because when we were younger the tables were definitely turned. I would go to Spain spend the entire summer and come off. I could buy anything and everything. Now I am even afraid to do a search on expedia to see the price of the ticket, Hell To The No! (Credit to Whitney Houston, I can not live without saying that on a day to day basis. Girl you completed me.).
Reasons why you should vote for Obama.
#1 Because I said So
#2 Because I said So
#3 Because I said So & all the issue deal with things you and I deal with everyday. He comes from where millionaires who were not always millionaires came from he understands taking out a student loan and having to work to pay it off. Seeing and living with his single mother makes him very compassionate to her needs and her needs were needs of the ordinary everyday you and me. His running mate is a man of many words opinions and proven track record in everyday you and me necessities. He is a father let me reiterate HE IS A FATHER! He comes home every night has his priorities straight in terms of parenting and being a dad. Many people can make children and unfortunately of those many there are many that can not raise children. I am not one of those many and no I do not hang out with pookie on Saturdays either, HA.

Okay Okay Okay lets move on to Old Dog and The Chick, Like WTF, WTF WTF WTF WTF! She just had a baby four months ago she has five kids where does she find the time better yet how the hell does she do it. …And you already know Old Dog is going to croak like six months in so that means The Chick is going to be running the country talking to Iraq setting up her oil transfer to her backyard because you know this bitch is not paying for gas especially because she has to drive all those little David Beckhams to sporting activities while breast feeding. Do you McCain Supporters realize that when he kicks the bucket the Chick from Alaska will be our president? (Personal conversation between me and GOD excuse me. OH GOD IF THERE WAS ANY TIME YOU NEEDED TO COME DOWN WITH THE BACK HAND AND SLAP SOME FOLKS NOW WOULD BE THAT TIME AND SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF ANYONE IN THE VOTING BOOTH THAT THINKS A BLACK MAN SHOULD NOT BE PRESIDENT AND MAKE SURE THEIR HANDS VOTE DEMOCRAT ALL THE WAY DOWN. ) Growing up I had my first voting experience with my grandmother and she taught me how to vote the only way she knew how. She said Eve now you see this line it is called democrat you select these entire selections straight down and if you don’t I’m going to kill you stone dead, LOL. These were her terms of endearment. So as you see I had no choice to every go republican because my life was in danger, lol. R.I.P to my favorite girl E.H.J.

Saturday Morning It is 11 AM

Okay I am sitting at my desk and writing to the world and there is a burgundy Jesus Squad 12 seater van parked in front of my house blast “I Say Glory”. Now I am not sure what to say about this. Okay now what if I was not down with this Christian Concert that was going on because lets say I am Jehovah, Jewish, Trinidadian, LOL. I forgot to say that we are two days away from the Labor Day events I used to partake in as a young child on the come up. Back then folks were swinging off of the street poles and whining on something. Dear reader that does not know what whining on something is I do not want you to be left out so lets picture Patrick Swayze and babe getting down in dirty dancing, now that was some hot stuff for the ballroom. You can compare Labor Day to dirty dancing times 48 the extra hardcore edition. Hence I do not go to this event anymore, this girl is too cool to sweat be sweat on stomped on groped on damn that’s a lot of things I am just not willing to do or be done to me yikes. Trust me I am not looking for a new man at least not right now. Being that I live in the heart of coconut land this Christian Concert right now is really strange but I do feel calm this morning so maybe I do need a little Jesus in my life. Wait wait it is the break down of the song and it has just gotten louder but it is all good because I have been listing to la mega se pega for two days in the car anyway. I had to give Jay-Z a break it was making me feel real bad ass! There should be a study on how music contributes to car accidents and emotions because I swear If I am listening to Wutang on the road you better get out of my way. I feel like a big tike’s Tonka truck on those massive four wheels and I will crush you and say your momma out the window. An encore was requested at the concert and now I am listening to the same song again. Okay I think I am going to go ask him if he has a home around here and if he says no I am going to tell him I don’t care where you go but you got to get the hell out of here. Like what the F is he thinking? Note to self have deeper conversation with God tonight and let him know that it really is nothing personal it is Labor Day….gosh!

I got to bathe the baby dress her do all that for me and get to the post office to drop my mom on her errands and then to the mall because my kid has her best friend’s party to go to and yes I still have to go and get the gift. There is going to be a bounce along cotton candy and popcorn. I am so excited everything I like to eat and do minus the bounce along, lol be hey it’s for the kids and they are going to look it. I hope she has a cocktail for momma Eve because if she knows what I know she will have it chilled and ready to serve upon my arrival. No worries I will give her my ETA just so it can be right.

Whose On Your Fave 5?

My get down to it crew is on my Fave 5. When I say get down to it crew that means my girlfriends. The girls or gals or galgirls or girlguys (you know I do not discriminate) you call when shit is about to hit the fan. Some of the individuals are still willing at this age to take out the Vaseline step out of the high heels put on some sneakers pop their earrings out and let you know what time it really is. Now I do not condone this behavior in any way shape of form but sometimes some things just can’t go without it. On the other hand when your are a parent it can all go without it and you eventually learn to turn the other cheek turn around and walk away. I am still in limbo I am caught between whoop that ass and turning the cheek, LOL.

When going through a divorce, family court, visitation misery loves company and misery is food for thought. Not saying that the aforementioned situations are all miserable because all of them are not. Some folks work together and even sleep together, if the sex was good then good for you and the working relationship. If the sex was bad well good for you to for the non working relationship, HA! just think of the sex you used to have and think about the sex you have after divorce. I know you should have divorce like decades ago. Shame on you for depriving yourself and shame on me for depriving myself. As my ex says his life is wonderful now without me. I tell him to stop flattering me and his nonsense goes on. There isn't a week that goes by that my ex does not try to use his Eve remote control and try to order me around. I smile and keep it moving, he is expressing his love and how wonderful his life really is :). When I was a child my grandmother used to dress me up and comb my hair in four plats (that is what Jamaicans call braids) and tie ribbons on the end and send me to Sunday school. I really was not interested in the Sunday school because all the action was happening upstairs with my grandmother and the GOD Squad. Well while attending Sunday school I learned “Do onto others as you want them to do on to you”. SOoooo when my Ex behaves like an ass he gets nothing but asshole treatment. Thank you to the wonderful teachings of Sunday school I couldn’t have done it without them ;) LOL. Okay cats I have to run out but I will continue this upon my return……I got to go do what singles mommies and daddies do. Prepare the lunch extra juices included, bathe the baby dress the baby comb her hair thank goodness I have already fed her, get her activity pack for the car ride as she calls it her rescue pack bag, credit to Dora and Diego you are doing wonders for my kid. Okay kids Cheers!

Late payments what should you do?

Okay since we are all friends here and my ex is getting on my royal nerves today I think hey why not inform my readers on how to go after these folks. I want to send a shout out to Division of Child Support Enforcement also known as SCU. If you are like me waiting for over 6 months for child support money and always receiving the payments 1 month late would you be mad. My answer is no. Be the best parent that you can be and provide the best support to your child that you can. It does take two to tango to conceive a child and which means it takes two to take care of the child and provide financial support. In my case my Ex hates me at least his actions do not show a favorable outcome towards me. He is very mean and cold and I am not just saying this because he is a major A hole it just happens to be the truth. According to him he is up-to-date on his payments and I am stark mad and mis informed. My good people of website land the one thing that I am not is misinformed and I am very sure that his payment is currently 25 days late last month it was 16 days late the month prior to that is was 19 days late and the list goes on. I know some folks are saying to them selves that I should be happy that I am receiving any money at all and this is the wrong attitude because I should not be happy it is my child’s entitlement and my right to express. So no I should not be happy (He Betta Had, in my best Ghetto Slang Ebonics diction). Back to English….
Dear Custodial Parents I have provided a list of all the things to come for the scum bags, Men & Women that choose to not fulfill their obligations. I hope this list gives you some satisfaction.
overdue child support.
Income Tax Refund Intercept (Federal and State)
A delinquent noncustodial parent's federal and/or State income tax refund may be intercepted to pay overdue child support.
Credit Bureau Submission
The names of delinquent noncustodial parents may be submitted to the major consumer credit reporting agencies. As a result, the noncustodial parent may have difficulty obtaining a loan or other forms of credit until the overdue child support is paid.
Lottery Intercept
New York State lottery winnings may be intercepted to pay overdue child support.
Property Execution
Financial assets, including bank accounts, may be seized in order to satisfy overdue child support.
Driver's License Suspension
New York State driver's licenses may be suspended for a delinquent noncustodial parent.
Passport Denial (My A hole doesn't even have a passport just a green card that I got him!)
The New York State Division of Child Support Enforcement and the U.S. State Department work together to prevent delinquent noncustodial parents from renewing or obtaining a passport.
Liens
Liens may be filed against a delinquent noncustodial parent's real estate or personal injury claims or awards in order to collect overdue child support.
Tax Referrals
The names of delinquent noncustodial parents are sent to the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance (DTF). DTF can then apply specific tax collection remedies to collect the

Child support, should you seek it and when?

Okay I was one of the stupid ones that could not believe that this was all coming to and end. Against advice of my lawyer and friends I decided to not pursue child support because I loved him and I wanted my family to get back together. This was the stupidest thing I ever did. When my husband moved out he gave no notification. After five years and a half and a nine month old baby and three months after he received his green card it took him all but two days to get his stuff and break out. Man my gut told me this on July 28, 2002 in the early afternoon in Viva Las Vegas right before I got married. My gut said Eve do not do this he is going to get his green card and leave you flat and not care about you or your well being. Back in the days folks got paid for marriage fraud but now a days it’s cheaper to sucker someone into it, it’s free. Why isn’t my government protecting me? What up congress what up?

In regard to child support do it immediately do not wait because the way the system really works it can take anywhere from 3 to 6 months to receive the support money from the time that you file. The owed money begins to accumulate and the accumulation continues to happen until monies are paid. The non custodial parents’ failure to pay results in the following loss of drivers license and incarceration. Yippee to all the scum bags (men and women I do not discriminate) not doing what they need to do in respect to their children. The law is coming for you and I am grand marshal at this parade. Custodial parents having problems in this department post some questions I am more than happy to help. Always remember if there are children involved the ultimate goal is find a friendship with your ex and promote unity to your children. It is terrible when parents don’t get along and children get caught in the cross fire.
Let me be clear child support does not equal revenge it is securing your child’s future.

Meeting with a lawyer in the morning, HUH?

Oh Shit this marriage thing is really real. Six weeks into the marriage my husband says we are renting a car and going to Atlanta to meet his family and his lawyer. Okay let’s remember that I am 24 years young and I specifically said lets keep this a secret and here we are traveling down Interstate I-95. So I am thinking to myself I have to write my thesis so I can graduate and be all that I can be without the army and instead I am traveling to meet my new family. How fucking weird is this, Yikes! Again I say to myself I am trying to do my friend / boyfriend a favor and this is what I get a strange woman calling me everyday asking me what I cooked for dinner and a whole lot of other folks I have never even heard of, grilling me and giving me the once over to see if I am okay. Luckily for me I am half African by association so I got a pass. Now I am not being a smart ass I heard one of his aunts or cousins say some smart ass stuff like that about me in the background. One sister kept repeating her father is African, LOL, the nerve of this clan. Anyway everything was good the family seemed happy and I continued to smile. Later that night my cool husband was told to drive his aunt home and his sister handed me the keys. It was like if she knew he was a bad driver. So I took the keys and dropped his aunt’s home. On the return drive my cool husband turned into a real ass hole he stopped talking to me. I mean this MOFO went mute. I was shocked I have never been ignored especially to my face. We got back to his sisters house where we were staying and once we got to our room he went off. He never explained his anger towards me he just told me that men cheat on their wives and that I should behave and told me to lie on top of him and go to sleep. I was so stunned and shocked that I went mute and complied. This was my first sign and I ignored. I was not his wife I was his entrance into the U. S. of Fucking A. Isn’t this some shit I just signed up to be used and used up. This is where I should have checked myself, my self esteem and my sanity. Knowing what I know now there is no way I would condone this “BITCHASSNESS”. (Special Credit to Puffy for the realization that a new word was needed to sum some suckers up, Cheers!). The following morning he expected me to get polished because we had a meeting with his lawyer, Margaret. Can I say she is the worst lawyer ever her moto is take that money. Margaret sent the bill but never showed any work. She was not accessible via phone or internet. Her approach was very hands off and it worked for me. I was still processing this A hole I married and this situation I put myself into and believe me all I wanted to do was call my grandmother and get a ticket the hell out of dodge. I stayed and he continued to ignore and speak to me when he felt like it. Remember get married for love because when you and your partner get into squabbles there still is compassion and respect in disagreements. When you marry for a green card all bets are off you are there to complete a job.

OH MY GOD WHAT DID I JUST DO?

OH MY GOD WHAT DID I JUST DO? Did I just marry this man so he could stay in the United States, yes. Okay I know everyone reading this is thinking is she crazy and yes I was 24 and crazy. I never saw myself as the wife type making dinner every night washing extra loads of clothes and scheduling doctor appointments for someone other than myself. My husband and I talked about our situation and agreed that we would not be like the typical husband and wife. That we would still have fun and go to parties and not be domesticated. We lived in the heart of the city , had many doormen, went to parties in the lower east side and ate exquisite dinners. I thought to myself our life was pretty cool and very non domestic. Oh boy was I in for a rude awakening. Shortly after being married my husband said to me one day since you like doing laundry my bags are in the closet the maid that comes twice a week does it but you can take this on. I thought to myself why the hell I would want to take this on if we have a maid that comes and does it. Okay now tell me did his suggestion make any sense, NO and was he going against our agreement, YES. Part of our agreement was to keep it a secret and especially not tell our families. As soon as we got home he sound the big thing (got on the phone) to his family and told them he got married. I was mortified. Everyday after his sister called me and asked me what I cooked for dinner. My response was the same thing I cooked last night, number 24 and number 36 on Ollies menu. What the hell was going through her mind? Did she think I just gave birth to a baby? How was he eating all times before he got married? Okay let me say this marriage can be a beautiful thing when two people are committed to being married and understand what marriage is. Marriage does not mean that you have given birth to someone that you are totally responsible for until they are able to do for themselves. What I just explained was motherhood, fatherhood, being parents not husbands or wives. If this is your understanding on what marriage is then I strongly advise you reevaluate your outlook.
Here I was doing a friend / boyfriend a favor and slowly but surely becoming his domestic goddess. The reason I call him friend / boyfriend is because during our courtship he never wanted to say I was his girlfriend or he was my boyfriend he was very non committal. This was my first sign but I wanted to be with him because he was something different than I had ever experienced. If you find yourself in my situation I will tell you this, what your gut says is always right. The problem is we as individuals are sometimes not strong enough to let the messages that come to our guts pass through our speech mechanisms. The messages always get lost in translation when passing through our hearts and we do not say what we mean. I admire the individual who can say what they mean and not worry that their thoughts will go against our societal codes. Had I been able to do this I would not have married him or been able to share my experiences with you. If you are about to marry your friend / boyfriend / girlfriend take some time out and listen to your gut and if your gut says do not proceed JUST DON’T DO IT. Your gut is saving you heartache, financial ruin, eviction, lawyers, lawyer’s fees, family court and being a single parent. I say this because had I listened to my gut I would have not experienced all of the above and be about $50K in the hole.

About Me

First and foremost let me introduce myself and share my background. My name is Eve and I grew up in an international household influenced by various nationalities. You are probably asking yourself how is this possible let me tell you. My father is from Equatorial Guinea (All my life and I'm still having problems spelling that) and my mother is from Kingston Jamaica (Yeah Mon!). My grandmother is born in Panama and raised in Jamaica since the age of 15 months so she is the only person in my large family that does not speak Spanish, so weird.... Anyway my father's country was colonized by Spanish speaking people and my mother lived in panama for some years with my Panamanian family hence I speak Spanish fluently. Growing up it was expected that I would be the future Mozart because my father is a musician, mathematician and engineer, unfortunately this did not happen. I played the piano for four years, Spanish classical music and music directed by Mr. Iceberg at Brooklyn College. I swear going to class with Mr. Iceberg felt like torture. Torture because he had me playing all this juvenile crap meanwhile I was learning serious pieces with my father’s instruction. Had I only knew of what Alicia Keys was going to become I would have continued playing the piano. Lets not forget that I am cute but I got to give it to Alicia is cuter. My father’s second aspiration for me was to be anything in the medical field so I could take care of him in his old age; this is what he told me. Imagine if I became a dentist and his teeth were fine then I bet he would be one pissed off man after spending tuition on dental school.

I am going to fast forward to the reason for my blog. You ever feel like you are going through the worst time ever in the divorce process, custody battles, visitation and your ex. Well welcome to my world. I got married at the tender age of 24, lol, there was nothing tender about my age but it just sounds like I can get some pitty points. My boyfriend / husband to be had a terrible situation his visa was expired and the only way for him to get residence in the United States was to marry me. Okay now don't think that I am some dog looking woman who weighs 300lbs because I definitely don't (pictures to come). At the age of 24 I had traveled the world and had various different experiences that I felt secure enough to commit myself to this man. I also thought to myself I am only 24 and if shit does not go good I can always get the hell out and find a new piece, oops man lol. I am sure many of you who are thinking of marrying at a young age are thinking what I am thinking. No worries relationships are like buses when one is gone the next one is only 15 minutes behind. My mother told me this about men when I was growing up “if you loose one no worries another will be coming”. When I made the decision to get married this is what I thought about the MTA ……..In the last week of July 2002 my boyfriend and I hopped on a plane to Viva Las Vegas and jumped over the broom and went from studs to duds.