divorce and the ex

OBAMA

2008-12-08T15:02:00.000-08:00

Yes we did, we changed history. I am pleased with the outcome of this election. I finally feel that in my lifetime I will experience the JFK effect. My grandmother spoke very highly of JFK and his genuine realness. I look forward to the country trying to rebuild to a fair one. I have my fingers crossed. Wow sounds like a service, maybe I should say Amen....LOL.
Ciao Luvs
Eve

Free Levi Sarah Palin's daughter's baby daddy.

2008-10-03T13:05:00.000-07:00

Please check this site out for a good laugh today.

Real Time with Bill Maher

New Rule: If we can’t, after all is said and done, make this election go the right way, at least we can save one man. I’m talking about young Master Levi Johnston. He’s the 18-year-old Alaskan hockey enthusiast who knocked up Sarah Palin’s daughter, and the National Enquirer describes him as “a boozing pot-smoker who doesn’t want to get married” – and John McCain thinks he found his soul mate!
We’ve all recently seen how evil henchman of the Republican party captured this poor innocent out of his natural habitat and forced him into a shotgun wedding, all so that their campaign narrative of fake family values could be upheld. When the 17-year-old daughter of the vice presidential candidate running on the Jesus ticket is “out to here,” it’s just better that Levi was introduced as the “fiancé.” Looks a little less white trashy.
But that doesn’t change the fact that right now Levi is America’s number one political prisoner. But Levi, you don’t have to be – this is the 21st century, at least in the blue states. We don’t have sharia law like in Saudi Arabia, or Alabama, and as much as the Bible thumpers would want it, we still don’t have arranged marriages in America. You don’t have to do this – you have options. You can pull a Juno – fuck, you live in Juneau! Or you could do what most people do with an unwanted child: give it to Angelina Jolie.
And if you’re worried about the baby, don’t – let’s get real dude, the way you are at 18, a baby’s better off not being around you – you’ll wind up losing it, or shooting it, or it’ll be on the bottom of your skate or something – just let the Palin womenfolk look after it for a while, one more infant in that Mormon compound they call a house won’t bother anybody – they’ll barely notice another kid at the table, and soon they won’t even remember whose seed it was that produced young “Trink” or “Truck” or “Puck” or whatever fucked up redneck name they give him.
In any event, we here at Real Time have taken the liberty of purchasing the website FreeLevi.org. And I will be happy to give the site over to you if you want to use it to get folks to contribute to some sort of liberty fund so you can get enough money to get out of that frozen meth lab they call a town. And even if the money doesn’t come in, listen to me, it’s not too late: just grab your skull bong, climb out the window, and get on the highway. I can’t actually come get you, or even let you stay at my place because I’m pretty sure you’d smoke all my weed, but just call me from a pay phone, I know of a safe house you can stay ‘til after the election, it’s like the witness protection program for baby-daddies.
And remember, Levi: California knows how to party. Trust me, the girls out here are going to love a big, high-sticking farm boy like you. If you play your cards right, in a couple weeks you could be screwing the lesbian right out of Lindsay Lohan.

FREE LEVI

The Disaster from Alaska

2008-10-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

Will be speaking tonight I am so excited to hear her talk that circlenomics. I think I can see Biden getting all pissy that they let this fool on the stage on prime time television. I mean I am stuck between what is going to be better tonight ugly betty or the disaster in Alaska OH MY GoODNEss! Anyway stay tuned for my comments after this Palin takes the stage. People pray now because the day of reckoning is coming.

Birthday Bash with extras.

2008-10-02T15:46:00.000-07:00

As my girl Wendy says I really needed to be cheifed up before this event, lol. The reason I say that is because I was going to definitely run into my ex boyfriend that I probably should have married if I was marrying for love he was the way to go, unfortunately I went left. SO anyway I’ll get back to him in a few. My friend and home girl The CEO of The Ex-girlfriends crew threw her daughter who happens to be my daughters BFF well at least for now because they are young and they cant hate each other yet. The CEO has seen the value in all the women that the men in the opposite crew lost or left. So in some ironic way we all still somehow run into each other. Sometimes the moments are awkward and other times they are sincere and strange. All in all it is good to see someone you used to love and that used to love you it makes you feel all warm inside unless the relationship was all war and the roses. It was me against the bounce along, Oh My Goodness. My daughter was happier than a pig in shit when she saw the life size castle blown up and it had a slide. My daughter is obsessed with the slide and I can drive down a block with a park and not hear her mouth. God forbid I drive past the slide I go from the greatest mommy in the world to her arch nemesis, LOL. So I bribe her with a walk to the store and a bag of Doritos and I always get back in the game with the bag of chips. Wait till she is a teenager and she says I am going to need Prada’s new IT bag in order to feel better. I will tell her to get a job or a man because my funds do not and will not extend to putting Prada on her behind. She just better hope that I still keep my IT bags in their sleeping bags so they can maintain their glamour. No worries I do not after what I have spent on my treasures $$$$. At the party I met divorced moms like myself some anger and some pleasant. I met one lady that came of to be sweet but I could tell she had that don’t play factor about her. She is what I call a gem because with women like her I think you never know what is coming next. She reminds me of the hook from black rob where Harvey Pierre sang “You don’t want to play around with me, Oh no I’ll hurt you”, LOL, I like those type of people. This lady is a single mom and has a decent working relationship with her ex but at times he gets out of line and she has to put him back in. To the lady that I met keep doing a good job at raising your child, he is adorable. It is funny the little boy also had that attitude about him very quiet and reserved but I saw him holding his own in the bounce along and he was not taking any crap from anyone. He was definitely a different child outside of the bounce along, LOL. I like his attitude cute, quiet and he ain’t no punk. You go Shorty keep banging! Then I met another lady she was single mother of three girls. My hat goes off to this lady because just being a single mother of 1 child is hard but three is amazing. I told her about my blog and she insisted that she did not need to hear what I was talking about but I honestly believe she should put me on her fave 5. It did not take long for her to play her voice mail messages of her ex husband harassing her verbally on the phone. She was so anger because she is trying to move on with her life and instead he keeps sucking her back into non progressive things. I can’t stand harassing people its like WTF can you just leave people alone and get over yourself. I would believe that this woman is way to busy figuring out how to go on day by day and raise her children to the best of her ability and has no time to take phones calls to be cursed out or disrespected. The audacity of her ex, the audacity of my ex he likes to call with his compliments on a monthly basis or every other month. I am raising a nice little girl she is feed clothed bathed loved and even a few extras and my ex has the nerve to curse me out. I think he and I are reading from two different books, THE DUMMIES HOW TO BE AN ASS VERSE COMMON SENSE, DUH! Back to the lady I met she was angry and stressed out and she made a comment that because of his disrespect she does not allow her ex to see the kids. My dear I hope that you are reading this Let your girls see their father especially if he wants to see them. Do not let him control you and make decisions and switch up your life especially since you have come so far for so long on your own. Your girls are old enough to protect themselves when they are not with you and they are old enough to stand up for you when you are not able to stand up for yourself. Let them go my dear because what you are doing is just not cool. Accept and flourish in the fact that your children will resent him for his disrespect towards you especially after you have done so much for them. You are in the right, keep holding your head up you are doing a good job! Nuff respect to you holding down the fort. Put me on your fave 5 angry lady J

So My Ex Lover / Boyfriend is married to a Japanese stripper for a green card and now love. WTF WTF WTF this is the same man that screamed at me for doing what I did in marrying the BOOBOO’s father to get his green card. I swear pinch me now okay . SO of course I am blown away. If you ever watched Sex in the City I really feel like he was my Aiden. I know you all are like awww, hello the reality is that Carrie did not end up with Aiden so please be easy, I am currently making other moves. I am not going to front when I saw him go back and forth with that big booty I did recall some scenarios especially that time in a Miami in a bathroom somewhere on South Beach. What better place to see your ex when you are with your girls he is with his boys you everybody is partying getting lifted and chiefing. Those were the days and now he is all down with Asia WTF happened to the true Yard Jamaican in him. I don’t know how I will feel if he ends up single after his experience. I definitely will think about running into his Tall big caramel body again in south beach again. That will always be up on the table so if you know me and you know him you can pass the word if you are reading this, CEO, LOL. Wendy sometime you just got to chief to get through it.

Funny Quote of The Day

2008-09-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

Zsa Zsa Gabor - "He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house."

I said No F’in Pork in my pots

2008-09-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

Say What? Yeah that is what I said when my ex screamed at me my father is a Muslim and you better not cook pork in my pots. So we are about 1095 days married and then some, yeah I can’t remember so what. By this time we have moved on up like George and Weezy and are living in the heart of the city, time square. We could look out our living room window and see the city’s lights and billboards. To me this sounds nice if you are on vacation but not on a permanent stay. Once again the Pharlo factor is back in the states and in my place. My ex and Pharlo walk in the door and he immediately starts screaming at me about the pork. Pharlo looks on in utter disbelief because in his eyes I did nothing wrong. In my eyes I did nothing wrong either I knew for a fact that my Ex was a control freak. Ladies and gentlemen again if this is your situation I suggest you run for the hills. We did not have a child at the time and it would have bee easy for me to run but I really wanted our relationship to work. One things I can advise is be true to yourself and don’t push things everything should be natural. If it is not natural then the end results are usually not favorable in your interest. This advice could save you heartache and pain to mention a few, take it and run with it! My ex was screaming about the pork and I had to put him in his place. I told him honey I did not know that this is what I signed up for, him dictating what I ate and did not eat. I asked myself “Has this man lost his natural ever living mind”? and then I told him for 26 years I have been raised on protein including pork that I liked it and I had no clue that I had to abide by a belief that did not pertain to me and because a man I never met who thinks I am the receptionist when he calls my house does not eat pork. I said “HELL TO THE FUCKING NO” “What you think this is? Then I went on the cuss him in Jamaican, Spanish and English. If my French was up to par I would have told him La Med, LOL. The nerve of this fool and his tom foolery. Every time this rude so called father-n-law called the house he never acknowledged me by name and only asked for money. I mean we only have been married for like ever and we now have a child and he still did not get the memo that my name was Eve. This man was so rude he would say hey are you not giving him the message. He needs to send the money because the kids need to go to school and their registration fees need to be paid, WTF. As far as my ex and I knew he had no children back home and he just made his first and only child so what did his father mean the kids school fees needed to be paid. Hello. He made those kids and continues to make them because of his Muslim beliefs and now he wants my husband to pay for them. This was a very sore subject in my house. At the end of the day I know many husbands and wives get upset about their other half’s contributing finances to their so called family members but here is the score on this there is nothing you can do about it. Make sure you keep your own checking account where you put money aside for yourself and it is a private account. You can call this your in case shit account, LOL. This is a good idea especially if you have a controlling mate like I did more than likely the controlling mate will want you to have joint accounts and no secrets. At this time I would like to pay tribute and take a moment of silence out for Shaunie O’Neil according to the media she stacked her own cheddar. 50 cool points to your Shaunie, go head with your bad self. If I did not know then I knew now that I was attached to and idiot and pure a hole. Trust and believe if you see yourself in my story it gets worst so don’t stay for it love you more and leave! On a day to day basis I dealt with BS from my Ex no pork amongst other things. He was crazy and deranged, lol, he is not really mentally ill but a lot of the times he acted that way.

Married 30 Days and Counting.

2008-09-06T17:07:00.000-07:00

Okay so I have just done 30 days and it feels like an eternity. At the time the 30 days felt like the one month completion of alcohol anonymous but I did not get the completion certificate at the end. I can’t believe it me the original get down with your bad self has another half that I am claiming out in the open and he is calming me. I mean in a matter of months we went from keeping this on the down low to full out married. Instead of the certificate upon completion of 30 days I got something called the Pharlo factor. Pharlo is a breathing living memorial to hip hop and rap. Now I never explained my Ex’s appearance he is nice looking clean cut and dresses like an adult usually during the hours of 12 to 7 pm and in the evening and on weekend he is ride or die hip hop. Basically he is the exact opposite of the Pharlo factor. Pharlo is straight out of England and not your typical Londoner. He wears corn rows jerseys and pants that are three times bigger than his size. He has a big personality no let me say gigantic personality. He is loud and never discreet and always looking out for numero uno. Well 30 days in I got him and he became my honeymoon present. He was the present that did not keep on giving. Matter a fact he gave nothing but always took and over stayed his welcome because it was free. Now when a normal person comes to visit you they stay 5 days tops 1 week not 45 days and counting. We had a 1 bedroom apartment in the city off of 7th avenue. I know it sounds spectacular but in fact it was not. The space was tight and less than 650 square feet and now we had three adults living there. I was losing my mind! In the beginning of our relationship just like anybody I would wait for my ex to go out so I could take a shit and now having this squatter on the premises was really messing up my me time. I mean newlyweds don’t usually walk around the house fully clothed. Around day 20 I began asking my ex what the hell is going on here. We are newlyweds hence the words newly wed and you have me living in a fraternity, WTF? So I asked him when is this cat leaving? His response was he did not know. This answer puzzled me, how could he not know. It was his house the Pharlo factor was a guest and he did not have his departure date marked off on the calendar. This pissed me off, total “BITCHASSNESS” in the making. I went off and all of my ranting and raving went on deaf ears. My ex loved the fact that he had this live in friend with industry party connections with networking possibility and to scope some new ass. Please like I don’t know. It is unfortunate when we lie to ourselves and say that our other half is 100% true to us and it is unfair to be upset with your other half if they look and flirt a lil bit. The reason I say this craziness is because it is a bit unfair to expect someone to not look at something they want. It is all natural. I think forming relationships with individuals that you are not committed to is dangerous. Forming relationships means that no relationship is safe and there is always that possibility that the person you have committed yourself to is not really committing themselves to you.
I grew up in a house on a small tree lined block and moving to the city was a big shock for me. I hated the numerous amounts of cabs and busses, smog out the wazoo. Central Park was near but the thought of having to walk from house to the park and actually run in the park the thought was near excruciating and hey lets face it I love me so I passed. I can honestly say that I ran in central park one time and oh boy I am not a runner. I envy runners; there breathing always seems to be on point. They seem to breathing cleaner air than me and I am jealous. Back to the Pharlo factor he would always ask to eat last and say that he was a human garbage disposal because he could eat any and everything. Usually when my family comes from out of town to stay with me they always bring gifts and invite me out to eat to thank me for my hospitality, not Pharlo. It got so bad with the food I had to say to him if you are going to be staying here this long you need to contribute to the house. Can you believe I had to tell this grown man that was probably sitting on millions that this was not the move. Fo F’s sake, I was contributing to the home on my student loans and unemployment checks. Let me add that Pharlo did not work other than volunteering on a radio show which was very beneficial to his music industry career aspirations and he lives off a big settlement from a car accident. His settlement is paid in Pounds / Euros so imagine he comes to New York three times a year and stays about 2 months and buys very expensive trinkets while he is here. This equates some nice cheese. What a free loader ate everything in site was always there would stiff the Chinese delivery guy on the tip and buy the large size Snapple strawberry kiwi for himself. He never even bought us a house warming gift. Two days ago Pharlo sent me an instant message and asked me if I was happy. I thought this was an odd question so flipped him the bird in cyber space and closed the box. One day I got so fucking mad I drank his damn snapple kiwi strawberry juice and told him it was my fridge, pounded on my chest and walked away and what! If you find this to be your current situation threaten to pack your stuff and leave. If there are no results that are in your favor then leave. You are newly/wed, no worries you can always come back I really and truly doubt the chain will be on the door, lol.

Big Night Boys and Girls Old Dog and The Chick are speaking.

2008-09-04T06:21:00.000-07:00

The Chick will be addressing the nation for the first time and introducing herself. Had she had the experience that Old Dog says that Obama lacks would we know about her. That’s right she lives in West Bubba Fuck and nobody cares. I think this is reason enough to say who the hell is she “Oh Hell to the No”. Had it not been for the recent scandal I would have never known her name, Sarah Palin. Mrs. Palin has a fast tail seventeen year old that is five months pregnant. I know she is so mad that she has been out taking that girl girdle shopping and making her fast, LOL. I mean they have been hiding all this time. At the end of the day I am not here to judge her things happen and sometimes unfortunate and they can happen to anyone. I do not think this makes Mrs. Palin a bad mother. she may have made some bad decisions in turn her daughter made bad decisions and now in order to make her mother’s political career flourish and her motherhood not be questioned now the sorry girl has to marry the sorry boy. This is what you call a recipe for disaster. These sorry underage drinkers are now going to pay a heavy price for the United States. If this does not get The Chick and Old Dog some pity votes I don’t know what will. Shit I am about to tear up just thinking of the life of hell this poor girl will have to live until Old Dog and The Chick loose. It’s like 90 days right? Ease up Lil Chick in 90 days it will be all over. Your crazy momma and the old dude are going to back to where ever the hell they came from. It’s like the movie Friday “You ain’t got to go home but you got to get the hell out of here”. I am still laughing at that Idiot The Bush, talking and reading a teleprompter I mean give me a break honestly who voted for this fool and who voted again for this fool? What because President Clinton could not go back into the running you all just gave up and said hey F it lets just pick this fool again. I mean seriously he can not even speak and his facial expressions remind me of being in the bathroom and having difficulty if you know what I mean and then you finally come to that crossroad and you get to the final push and you are relieved. That is his face when he gets stuck in his comments and it finally comes out the wrinkles in his forehead release and I swear it just like taking a number 2. The Bush has *ish face! It is terrible when a country has no respect for you. Its like when you are in the first grade and you get into it with the cool kid that wears all the designer stuff and then that kid gets mad at you and tell everyone else not to talk to you. Yeah I would say that The Bush’s social calendar is looking slim to none. Even Condi is going to read him his right and let him know. You used me as the African American woman token for long enough no I will not come over for none of Laura’s dry pie and you can tell her I said that and what. I bet Condi is going to rise up on The Bush when their ride is over and give him two slaps. One slap for women and the other just because. I am going to go and get ready to listen to Old Dog and The Chick get ready to do the damn thang.

Jeremy Consell new Killer added to list of Killers in the world.

2008-09-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

New to the mansion provided by the government 22 year old Single Male eligible for lifetime stay at palatial housing. Jeremy will be happy to know that his stay comes with around the clock valet service or tour guide. The full time tour guide is there to make sure Jeremy’s stay is as uncomfortable as possible and that you find all the related services you are entitled to and also to help others on the tour find you in exchange for goods or services. Oh yes dear Jeremy you have just signed up to the most exciting ride of your life. Everyday is filled with new spontaneous adventures for him to encounter. According to channel seven news “Jeremy stayed and watched a horror movie, called Saw (which is all about killing people)”. Then the killers father comes on the news and says “He couldn’t wait to tell me what he did he had no remorse. Talk about your own flesh and blood throwing you under the bus. At least in my family they would still accept the murderer but behind the scenes there are definitely haters in the family that would burn the murderer at the stake like the witches in Boston. I was brought up to always remember don’t have people all in your business and don’t tell them too much (I guess this goes against all the teachings, Blah Blah Blog!

Hey I am off to watch this idiot GWB The Bush read the teleprompter I will be back in two in two. I can not believe how many seats are not filled, okay who am I kidding I knew no one was going to be there because who gives a F about Old Dog, The Chick and his posse. Oh Sweet Jesus Mother of Mary please get rid of the Chick ,S.P. The only reason I know her name is Palin is because of all the coverage her fast tail as of a daughter just got ever
Eve

Labor Day is in Full Effect

2008-09-01T15:10:00.000-07:00

Okay about 2 hours ago me and booboo, that’s my daughters nick name, went to the store and Oh MY we saw lions, tigers and bears Oh My. The bear we saw was a woman about 350lbs with a gold bikini make of gold foil paper. She had a crown on with colorful feathers sticking out. She was covered in colorful body glitter, oh and I must not forget this woman’s belly covered the bottom of the bikini in the crotch area. I am starting to think I have made another good choice this year, just not to be involved and why subject my eyes to this. I mean I am over here at home trying to work on my 12 pack and Good thing for her she had a metallic gold hula skirt that stuck out on the sides. It kind of reminds me when Rasputia went to the amusement park and security told asked if she was wearing any bottoms and she picked her belly up, YUCK, well this is what my daughter and I encountered on the following block. Side bar; Can you believe my ex husband called me Rasputia once. He said that I was large and in charge and that when I was coming everyone needed to get out of my way, the gall. Upon our walk on Church Avenue we saw many scantily clad woman covering certain parts of their bodies with there arms. You know it is kind of like when you are asked “raise your hand if you are sure” and you don’t, yeah like that. Oh yeah I also ran into someone from the neighborhood that for some reason is always derailing my destination. Don’t you hate when you are trying to get something done and get back home and here come so and so, DAMN. I am coming out the corner store and so and so is coming right around the corner and we literally bump into each other and I take a moment out in my head and say DAMNNNNNNN! SO of course I am going right and so and so is going left and of course so and so tries to divert my course again, like WTF! I am walking with my kid coming out of a bakery and we have a shopping cart does it look like want to go left, opposite of the market, come on “fuggetta bout it”. So of course as always the conversation is absolutely pointless and does not affect my life or financial situation. I want to forget about these societal norms and just tell So and So please do not bring your child around my child any more he exhibits lack of self control lack of discipline and mischievousness and I do not foresee you and I having this prefabricated friendship that you so desire. It’s just not going to F’in happen. “I’m just not going to be able to do”, ‘Love me or Leave Me Alone” In this case I choose Leave Me Alone. Not to mention yesterday morning I made an amazing western omelet and my child and I were getting down and dirty in eggs and SO and So called, while I was eating. So accidentally I missed that call don’t you know she did not use the feature on my phone it is called voice mail, instead So and So called back and I was forced to pick up. I have a friend if he is watching his show or doing something no matter what that something is he doesn’t play he will not answer the phone not on commercial intermission or bathroom breaks. His whole thing is if you know me for instance and Lost is on why would you call me? I used to think this was a bitchy attitude but he has actually got the right idea. Lets think about how many ways the cell phone company can charge you um let me see #1 if I pick up the phone so F it I just wont pick up. I am really tossing with this idea I mean Google is free and here I am paying for the cell phone company to jack me. On the other hand where will I be without texting, LOST like the show? Without texting how will I be able to receive my Ex’s compliments once a week, LOL. Be right back I am going to pick off the petals of flower to see if he still loves me, LOL, of course he does. If he didn’t he would try to flatter me as much as he does. Soon the Labor Day people will be on there way from Eastern Parkway maybe I will go out and gather some photos or fashion recaps to share with you all. Till later boys and girls.
Eve

Democratic Convention hip hip hooray!

2008-08-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy Obama /Biden ticket I am so excited it reminds when I was a child and I got my first Nintendo I was happier than a pig in shit. Or how about when I got my first cabbage patch doll oh my goodness that was really exciting. My mom assimilated a labor scenario and I gave birth to a big box that had an original cabbage patch doll of some nationality. My doll was more of an olive color doll she looked mixed like mulatto. My mom made a big deal about my dolls growing up she did not believe that I should own only Caucasian dolls but dolls that looked more like me. I know you are thinking to yourself that the assimilation thing was weird and it was but if you know my mom she is a carefree spirit and strongly believes in saying what she means without censorship. At times this can be dangerous but all in all it is a good thing, she is just not like everybody else. Let me not forget her heart is pure and real and her emotions always reflect that and I love her for that and many more things. SHES A GOOD WOMAN! Back to my excitement about Obama /Biden If I could cartwheel I would but I can’t so for now I will keep all my acrobatic skills in my head and dreams. The country has been in such a bad state and getting worst and GWB the Bush is looking for his retirement mansion. I am so sick how anyone could allow the person who fixed the election in the first place to allow this to happen. Since when has our dollar been weaker to Europe’s euro? My cousin Alex was here visiting with me this summer for the first time ever in New York and was excited that she was able tos spend so much money. It was inside that I died because when we were younger the tables were definitely turned. I would go to Spain spend the entire summer and come off. I could buy anything and everything. Now I am even afraid to do a search on expedia to see the price of the ticket, Hell To The No! (Credit to Whitney Houston, I can not live without saying that on a day to day basis. Girl you completed me.).
Reasons why you should vote for Obama.
#1 Because I said So
#2 Because I said So
#3 Because I said So & all the issue deal with things you and I deal with everyday. He comes from where millionaires who were not always millionaires came from he understands taking out a student loan and having to work to pay it off. Seeing and living with his single mother makes him very compassionate to her needs and her needs were needs of the ordinary everyday you and me. His running mate is a man of many words opinions and proven track record in everyday you and me necessities. He is a father let me reiterate HE IS A FATHER! He comes home every night has his priorities straight in terms of parenting and being a dad. Many people can make children and unfortunately of those many there are many that can not raise children. I am not one of those many and no I do not hang out with pookie on Saturdays either, HA.

Okay Okay Okay lets move on to Old Dog and The Chick, Like WTF, WTF WTF WTF WTF! She just had a baby four months ago she has five kids where does she find the time better yet how the hell does she do it. …And you already know Old Dog is going to croak like six months in so that means The Chick is going to be running the country talking to Iraq setting up her oil transfer to her backyard because you know this bitch is not paying for gas especially because she has to drive all those little David Beckhams to sporting activities while breast feeding. Do you McCain Supporters realize that when he kicks the bucket the Chick from Alaska will be our president? (Personal conversation between me and GOD excuse me. OH GOD IF THERE WAS ANY TIME YOU NEEDED TO COME DOWN WITH THE BACK HAND AND SLAP SOME FOLKS NOW WOULD BE THAT TIME AND SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF ANYONE IN THE VOTING BOOTH THAT THINKS A BLACK MAN SHOULD NOT BE PRESIDENT AND MAKE SURE THEIR HANDS VOTE DEMOCRAT ALL THE WAY DOWN. ) Growing up I had my first voting experience with my grandmother and she taught me how to vote the only way she knew how. She said Eve now you see this line it is called democrat you select these entire selections straight down and if you don’t I’m going to kill you stone dead, LOL. These were her terms of endearment. So as you see I had no choice to every go republican because my life was in danger, lol. R.I.P to my favorite girl E.H.J.

Saturday Morning It is 11 AM

2008-08-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

Okay I am sitting at my desk and writing to the world and there is a burgundy Jesus Squad 12 seater van parked in front of my house blast “I Say Glory”. Now I am not sure what to say about this. Okay now what if I was not down with this Christian Concert that was going on because lets say I am Jehovah, Jewish, Trinidadian, LOL. I forgot to say that we are two days away from the Labor Day events I used to partake in as a young child on the come up. Back then folks were swinging off of the street poles and whining on something. Dear reader that does not know what whining on something is I do not want you to be left out so lets picture Patrick Swayze and babe getting down in dirty dancing, now that was some hot stuff for the ballroom. You can compare Labor Day to dirty dancing times 48 the extra hardcore edition. Hence I do not go to this event anymore, this girl is too cool to sweat be sweat on stomped on groped on damn that’s a lot of things I am just not willing to do or be done to me yikes. Trust me I am not looking for a new man at least not right now. Being that I live in the heart of coconut land this Christian Concert right now is really strange but I do feel calm this morning so maybe I do need a little Jesus in my life. Wait wait it is the break down of the song and it has just gotten louder but it is all good because I have been listing to la mega se pega for two days in the car anyway. I had to give Jay-Z a break it was making me feel real bad ass! There should be a study on how music contributes to car accidents and emotions because I swear If I am listening to Wutang on the road you better get out of my way. I feel like a big tike’s Tonka truck on those massive four wheels and I will crush you and say your momma out the window. An encore was requested at the concert and now I am listening to the same song again. Okay I think I am going to go ask him if he has a home around here and if he says no I am going to tell him I don’t care where you go but you got to get the hell out of here. Like what the F is he thinking? Note to self have deeper conversation with God tonight and let him know that it really is nothing personal it is Labor Day….gosh!

I got to bathe the baby dress her do all that for me and get to the post office to drop my mom on her errands and then to the mall because my kid has her best friend’s party to go to and yes I still have to go and get the gift. There is going to be a bounce along cotton candy and popcorn. I am so excited everything I like to eat and do minus the bounce along, lol be hey it’s for the kids and they are going to look it. I hope she has a cocktail for momma Eve because if she knows what I know she will have it chilled and ready to serve upon my arrival. No worries I will give her my ETA just so it can be right.

Whose On Your Fave 5?

2008-08-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

My get down to it crew is on my Fave 5. When I say get down to it crew that means my girlfriends. The girls or gals or galgirls or girlguys (you know I do not discriminate) you call when shit is about to hit the fan. Some of the individuals are still willing at this age to take out the Vaseline step out of the high heels put on some sneakers pop their earrings out and let you know what time it really is. Now I do not condone this behavior in any way shape of form but sometimes some things just can’t go without it. On the other hand when your are a parent it can all go without it and you eventually learn to turn the other cheek turn around and walk away. I am still in limbo I am caught between whoop that ass and turning the cheek, LOL.

When going through a divorce, family court, visitation misery loves company and misery is food for thought. Not saying that the aforementioned situations are all miserable because all of them are not. Some folks work together and even sleep together, if the sex was good then good for you and the working relationship. If the sex was bad well good for you to for the non working relationship, HA! just think of the sex you used to have and think about the sex you have after divorce. I know you should have divorce like decades ago. Shame on you for depriving yourself and shame on me for depriving myself. As my ex says his life is wonderful now without me. I tell him to stop flattering me and his nonsense goes on. There isn't a week that goes by that my ex does not try to use his Eve remote control and try to order me around. I smile and keep it moving, he is expressing his love and how wonderful his life really is :). When I was a child my grandmother used to dress me up and comb my hair in four plats (that is what Jamaicans call braids) and tie ribbons on the end and send me to Sunday school. I really was not interested in the Sunday school because all the action was happening upstairs with my grandmother and the GOD Squad. Well while attending Sunday school I learned “Do onto others as you want them to do on to you”. SOoooo when my Ex behaves like an ass he gets nothing but asshole treatment. Thank you to the wonderful teachings of Sunday school I couldn’t have done it without them ;) LOL. Okay cats I have to run out but I will continue this upon my return……I got to go do what singles mommies and daddies do. Prepare the lunch extra juices included, bathe the baby dress the baby comb her hair thank goodness I have already fed her, get her activity pack for the car ride as she calls it her rescue pack bag, credit to Dora and Diego you are doing wonders for my kid. Okay kids Cheers!

Late payments what should you do?

2008-08-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

Okay since we are all friends here and my ex is getting on my royal nerves today I think hey why not inform my readers on how to go after these folks. I want to send a shout out to Division of Child Support Enforcement also known as SCU. If you are like me waiting for over 6 months for child support money and always receiving the payments 1 month late would you be mad. My answer is no. Be the best parent that you can be and provide the best support to your child that you can. It does take two to tango to conceive a child and which means it takes two to take care of the child and provide financial support. In my case my Ex hates me at least his actions do not show a favorable outcome towards me. He is very mean and cold and I am not just saying this because he is a major A hole it just happens to be the truth. According to him he is up-to-date on his payments and I am stark mad and mis informed. My good people of website land the one thing that I am not is misinformed and I am very sure that his payment is currently 25 days late last month it was 16 days late the month prior to that is was 19 days late and the list goes on. I know some folks are saying to them selves that I should be happy that I am receiving any money at all and this is the wrong attitude because I should not be happy it is my child’s entitlement and my right to express. So no I should not be happy (He Betta Had, in my best Ghetto Slang Ebonics diction). Back to English….
Dear Custodial Parents I have provided a list of all the things to come for the scum bags, Men & Women that choose to not fulfill their obligations. I hope this list gives you some satisfaction.
overdue child support.
Income Tax Refund Intercept (Federal and State)
A delinquent noncustodial parent's federal and/or State income tax refund may be intercepted to pay overdue child support.
Credit Bureau Submission
The names of delinquent noncustodial parents may be submitted to the major consumer credit reporting agencies. As a result, the noncustodial parent may have difficulty obtaining a loan or other forms of credit until the overdue child support is paid.
Lottery Intercept
New York State lottery winnings may be intercepted to pay overdue child support.
Property Execution
Financial assets, including bank accounts, may be seized in order to satisfy overdue child support.
Driver's License Suspension
New York State driver's licenses may be suspended for a delinquent noncustodial parent.
Passport Denial (My A hole doesn't even have a passport just a green card that I got him!)
The New York State Division of Child Support Enforcement and the U.S. State Department work together to prevent delinquent noncustodial parents from renewing or obtaining a passport.
Liens
Liens may be filed against a delinquent noncustodial parent's real estate or personal injury claims or awards in order to collect overdue child support.
Tax Referrals
The names of delinquent noncustodial parents are sent to the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance (DTF). DTF can then apply specific tax collection remedies to collect the

Child support, should you seek it and when?

2008-08-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

Okay I was one of the stupid ones that could not believe that this was all coming to and end. Against advice of my lawyer and friends I decided to not pursue child support because I loved him and I wanted my family to get back together. This was the stupidest thing I ever did. When my husband moved out he gave no notification. After five years and a half and a nine month old baby and three months after he received his green card it took him all but two days to get his stuff and break out. Man my gut told me this on July 28, 2002 in the early afternoon in Viva Las Vegas right before I got married. My gut said Eve do not do this he is going to get his green card and leave you flat and not care about you or your well being. Back in the days folks got paid for marriage fraud but now a days it’s cheaper to sucker someone into it, it’s free. Why isn’t my government protecting me? What up congress what up?

In regard to child support do it immediately do not wait because the way the system really works it can take anywhere from 3 to 6 months to receive the support money from the time that you file. The owed money begins to accumulate and the accumulation continues to happen until monies are paid. The non custodial parents’ failure to pay results in the following loss of drivers license and incarceration. Yippee to all the scum bags (men and women I do not discriminate) not doing what they need to do in respect to their children. The law is coming for you and I am grand marshal at this parade. Custodial parents having problems in this department post some questions I am more than happy to help. Always remember if there are children involved the ultimate goal is find a friendship with your ex and promote unity to your children. It is terrible when parents don’t get along and children get caught in the cross fire.
Let me be clear child support does not equal revenge it is securing your child’s future.

Meeting with a lawyer in the morning, HUH?

2008-08-24T17:08:00.000-07:00

Oh Shit this marriage thing is really real. Six weeks into the marriage my husband says we are renting a car and going to Atlanta to meet his family and his lawyer. Okay let’s remember that I am 24 years young and I specifically said lets keep this a secret and here we are traveling down Interstate I-95. So I am thinking to myself I have to write my thesis so I can graduate and be all that I can be without the army and instead I am traveling to meet my new family. How fucking weird is this, Yikes! Again I say to myself I am trying to do my friend / boyfriend a favor and this is what I get a strange woman calling me everyday asking me what I cooked for dinner and a whole lot of other folks I have never even heard of, grilling me and giving me the once over to see if I am okay. Luckily for me I am half African by association so I got a pass. Now I am not being a smart ass I heard one of his aunts or cousins say some smart ass stuff like that about me in the background. One sister kept repeating her father is African, LOL, the nerve of this clan. Anyway everything was good the family seemed happy and I continued to smile. Later that night my cool husband was told to drive his aunt home and his sister handed me the keys. It was like if she knew he was a bad driver. So I took the keys and dropped his aunt’s home. On the return drive my cool husband turned into a real ass hole he stopped talking to me. I mean this MOFO went mute. I was shocked I have never been ignored especially to my face. We got back to his sisters house where we were staying and once we got to our room he went off. He never explained his anger towards me he just told me that men cheat on their wives and that I should behave and told me to lie on top of him and go to sleep. I was so stunned and shocked that I went mute and complied. This was my first sign and I ignored. I was not his wife I was his entrance into the U. S. of Fucking A. Isn’t this some shit I just signed up to be used and used up. This is where I should have checked myself, my self esteem and my sanity. Knowing what I know now there is no way I would condone this “BITCHASSNESS”. (Special Credit to Puffy for the realization that a new word was needed to sum some suckers up, Cheers!). The following morning he expected me to get polished because we had a meeting with his lawyer, Margaret. Can I say she is the worst lawyer ever her moto is take that money. Margaret sent the bill but never showed any work. She was not accessible via phone or internet. Her approach was very hands off and it worked for me. I was still processing this A hole I married and this situation I put myself into and believe me all I wanted to do was call my grandmother and get a ticket the hell out of dodge. I stayed and he continued to ignore and speak to me when he felt like it. Remember get married for love because when you and your partner get into squabbles there still is compassion and respect in disagreements. When you marry for a green card all bets are off you are there to complete a job.

OH MY GOD WHAT DID I JUST DO?

2008-08-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOD WHAT DID I JUST DO? Did I just marry this man so he could stay in the United States, yes. Okay I know everyone reading this is thinking is she crazy and yes I was 24 and crazy. I never saw myself as the wife type making dinner every night washing extra loads of clothes and scheduling doctor appointments for someone other than myself. My husband and I talked about our situation and agreed that we would not be like the typical husband and wife. That we would still have fun and go to parties and not be domesticated. We lived in the heart of the city , had many doormen, went to parties in the lower east side and ate exquisite dinners. I thought to myself our life was pretty cool and very non domestic. Oh boy was I in for a rude awakening. Shortly after being married my husband said to me one day since you like doing laundry my bags are in the closet the maid that comes twice a week does it but you can take this on. I thought to myself why the hell I would want to take this on if we have a maid that comes and does it. Okay now tell me did his suggestion make any sense, NO and was he going against our agreement, YES. Part of our agreement was to keep it a secret and especially not tell our families. As soon as we got home he sound the big thing (got on the phone) to his family and told them he got married. I was mortified. Everyday after his sister called me and asked me what I cooked for dinner. My response was the same thing I cooked last night, number 24 and number 36 on Ollies menu. What the hell was going through her mind? Did she think I just gave birth to a baby? How was he eating all times before he got married? Okay let me say this marriage can be a beautiful thing when two people are committed to being married and understand what marriage is. Marriage does not mean that you have given birth to someone that you are totally responsible for until they are able to do for themselves. What I just explained was motherhood, fatherhood, being parents not husbands or wives. If this is your understanding on what marriage is then I strongly advise you reevaluate your outlook.
Here I was doing a friend / boyfriend a favor and slowly but surely becoming his domestic goddess. The reason I call him friend / boyfriend is because during our courtship he never wanted to say I was his girlfriend or he was my boyfriend he was very non committal. This was my first sign but I wanted to be with him because he was something different than I had ever experienced. If you find yourself in my situation I will tell you this, what your gut says is always right. The problem is we as individuals are sometimes not strong enough to let the messages that come to our guts pass through our speech mechanisms. The messages always get lost in translation when passing through our hearts and we do not say what we mean. I admire the individual who can say what they mean and not worry that their thoughts will go against our societal codes. Had I been able to do this I would not have married him or been able to share my experiences with you. If you are about to marry your friend / boyfriend / girlfriend take some time out and listen to your gut and if your gut says do not proceed JUST DON’T DO IT. Your gut is saving you heartache, financial ruin, eviction, lawyers, lawyer’s fees, family court and being a single parent. I say this because had I listened to my gut I would have not experienced all of the above and be about $50K in the hole.

About Me

2008-08-23T16:59:00.000-07:00

First and foremost let me introduce myself and share my background. My name is Eve and I grew up in an international household influenced by various nationalities. You are probably asking yourself how is this possible let me tell you. My father is from Equatorial Guinea (All my life and I'm still having problems spelling that) and my mother is from Kingston Jamaica (Yeah Mon!). My grandmother is born in Panama and raised in Jamaica since the age of 15 months so she is the only person in my large family that does not speak Spanish, so weird.... Anyway my father's country was colonized by Spanish speaking people and my mother lived in panama for some years with my Panamanian family hence I speak Spanish fluently. Growing up it was expected that I would be the future Mozart because my father is a musician, mathematician and engineer, unfortunately this did not happen. I played the piano for four years, Spanish classical music and music directed by Mr. Iceberg at Brooklyn College. I swear going to class with Mr. Iceberg felt like torture. Torture because he had me playing all this juvenile crap meanwhile I was learning serious pieces with my father’s instruction. Had I only knew of what Alicia Keys was going to become I would have continued playing the piano. Lets not forget that I am cute but I got to give it to Alicia is cuter. My father’s second aspiration for me was to be anything in the medical field so I could take care of him in his old age; this is what he told me. Imagine if I became a dentist and his teeth were fine then I bet he would be one pissed off man after spending tuition on dental school.

I am going to fast forward to the reason for my blog. You ever feel like you are going through the worst time ever in the divorce process, custody battles, visitation and your ex. Well welcome to my world. I got married at the tender age of 24, lol, there was nothing tender about my age but it just sounds like I can get some pitty points. My boyfriend / husband to be had a terrible situation his visa was expired and the only way for him to get residence in the United States was to marry me. Okay now don't think that I am some dog looking woman who weighs 300lbs because I definitely don't (pictures to come). At the age of 24 I had traveled the world and had various different experiences that I felt secure enough to commit myself to this man. I also thought to myself I am only 24 and if shit does not go good I can always get the hell out and find a new piece, oops man lol. I am sure many of you who are thinking of marrying at a young age are thinking what I am thinking. No worries relationships are like buses when one is gone the next one is only 15 minutes behind. My mother told me this about men when I was growing up “if you loose one no worries another will be coming”. When I made the decision to get married this is what I thought about the MTA ……..In the last week of July 2002 my boyfriend and I hopped on a plane to Viva Las Vegas and jumped over the broom and went from studs to duds.